Society says that men are to be terse, commanding in stature, and exude confidence. Men are men, and women are glad of it. Me? I’ve always been a sensitive person and wore my heart on my sleeve. I was not what you’d call, a man’s man. I remember having to give a eulogy and I got so emotional that I cried. Heads lowered in either shame or pity. I know not which. One Christmas I talked about Jesus in a group setting and tears came flowing from my eyes. I felt embarrassed. Not because of sharing Christ, heaven forbid, but because of the tears. In both cases, not one other man cried. Society also says that men aren’t supposed to cry. Granted, these were a couple of emotional times, but there have been many other times when there was a deluge. I’ve never been able to withhold my emotions, until…

To my detriment, I purposely changed my demeanor. I worked hard at it. I became gruff and the person that society and those around me expected. It felt good after a while and I was OK with it for a spell, because people treated me different and both genders seemed to respect me more as a man, where they hadn’t before. This metamorphosis was during a time when my mother went home to be with Jesus. I was so immersed in my newfound self that I still haven’t fully cried over her passing. It really upset me even to this day that I still haven’t really cried over my momma. We were very close. It wasn’t long after that that the newfound me wore off.

I’d rejected who God made me to be, and I ended up not liking myself. At all. I literally hated who I was. It felt unnatural and it took a while to readjust back to my normal self. However, I was much happier. I was once again, happy in my own skin. I think the Lord let me tarry in that readjustment period to teach me. Yes, I am still embarrassed from time to time, but… oh well. What you see is what you get. Jesus loves me, and if that’s all who does, I’m OK with that. I’m in good company though. The Bible says in John 11:35 that Jesus wept. Also, because of the difficulties Jeremiah encountered in the books of Jeremiah and Lamentations, prompted scholars to refer to him as the weeping prophet. So yes, I’m in good company.

v13 For thou didst form my inward parts: Thou didst cover me in my mother’s womb.
v14 I will give thanks unto thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well. [Psalms 139:13-14 ASV]

I tell you this because if any of you men find yourself in my predicament or similar, may I exhort you to desist. It’s a process and won’t happen overnight but if you are experiencing anything that makes you feel like less of a man, my exhortation remains the same. Desist. The bottom line? Be happy with who you are. Be happy with who God made you to be.

Although this is from the perspective of a man, women could benefit from this word as well. Each of you are unique individuals, and there’s literally not another person like you, whether you are a brother or sister in the Lord. Don’t make my mistake and reject who God made you to be. He knew what He was doing. Trust me. I know from whence I speak. Oh, I continue to be sensitive, but I am me and proud of it. I no longer need to beat my chest to prove anything.

Father forgive me for rejecting your handywork, for wonderful are thy works. My heart goes out to those who are struggling with who they are. I ask that you cover them with your healing presence. You are no respecter of person. Have mercy on them who struggle, Lord. In your precious and mighty name, AMEN.

God is the potter and we are the clay [1].
______________________________

[1] Isaiah 64:8