Unrequited Love

Part Three of Three: Focus

In part one of our “Unrequited Love” series, I asked a question that I pray that you all had a chance to contemplate introspectively. I asked, “How much power does the Devil possess?” This is a question that we must all answer probably every day. There are many bondages with which the enemy has to work. He is subtle and good at what he does [1] and we should not take him for granted. After all, he’s had 6000 years not only to work on them, but to perfect them as well. I could have chosen any number of bondages on which to base my narrative for the two remaining blogs. However, since I had recently experienced a relationship loss, I felt that my reaction to this occurrence warranted a confession to you my dear readers. I feel in my spirit that I am not alone.

In part two of this series, I shared with you some of my feelings and emotions concerning that break-up. However, as I went through the myriad of emotions and grief, I thought of how Jesus must have felt as they led Him to the Cross and nailed Him there. It is this author’s opinion that divorce and/or a break-up is like a death. The only difference is I get to see this person from time to time. If you are in the same boat, may I make a small suggestion in that ‘seeing them’ might not be the best case scenario? Seeing them would constantly remind us of happier times and the reasons behind them letting us go or giving up on the union. Speaking to my own personal situation, I would say that seeing her again flooded my mind with emotions that was not beneficial to my health. Unrequited love sucks. I would have to start the healing process all over again. It’s hard enough to go through once.

In part three, I am making myself vulnerable for you in hopes that my plight might help someone else out there who is in a similar situation. However, be rest assured, that anyone can use my resolve not only to repair ones heart because of a damaged relationship (on either side), but also, to resolve and answer, any of the numerous bondages out there that plague humanity. It’s the same protocol and answer for all and the answer for all. My resolve might seem a little simplistic but it is true and is all a process anyway.

I’ll have to admit, however that it may be just a little hard to do things God’s way because of man’s inherited sin nature. Our spirits are always fighting against the flesh and vice versa[2]. That’s a given, so buckle up. So far, the protocol is working for me, but it is a daily battle to forget about her. One day I’ll have fond memories and feel blessed because of our union. What Christ is doing for me, He can do the same for you because God is no respecter of person [3].

v11 For there is no respect of persons with God. [Romans 2:11 KJV]

Please allow me the latitude to echo Mr Monk’s conversation intro, “Here’s the thing, without a counter-measure or action to offset those attacks, we are goners [4].” We are not equipped to handle the Devil. . .that is, on our own [5]. The Devil CAN devour us at anytime he wants and can take as much away from us as we will give him. However, MAY the Devil devour us? He absolutely can not, but only if we are “in Christ Jesus” [6] can we survive the enemy’s attacks. The Bible says that Christ has overcome the world [7].

Anyway, a few days ago, I totally broke down in a crying jag that would have put a baby to shame. It was due to a memory that I had of my recent relationship demise that lasted for about an hour and a half; so much so that I felt I needed a life raft to get out of the agony. Here I was, a grown man, bawling my eyes out. All I could think about was her and the hurt that I felt. I was not being watchful or rational [8] and by not being so, I gave the enemy a foothold into my life [9].

Like I said in part two, I’d lost focus and was focusing on the wrong thing. How could the Lord help me if I was not focusing on Him? The Lord’s compassion for me, let me cry out all my raw and hurtful emotions and feelings before He spoke to my heart. He knew that I was not ready to listen to Him because I hurt too much. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says that there is a time to weep and a time to mourn. I was mourning the death of my lifelong relationship and marriage to a fantastic woman, a woman for whom I would die (and still would).

Once I was done weeping and had somewhat calmed down, I felt the Lord speaking to me, not audibly but deep from within my spirit. I tried to make light of it earlier but what should appear at my door? “My Life Raft [10].” Have any of you ever felt the Lord speaking to you within the pit of your stomach. Like I say, it wasn’t audible but I knew it was God. He spoke to my spirit, “I will never leave you or forsake you. Focus on me for I am the God of all comfort, and I love you.” [11] Was it God, or pizza? I chose to believe that it was the Lord speaking to me in my time of need, and why not? Besides, I had heard His voice before both audibly and in the pit of my stomach. I recognized Him. He has always been there for me and He will always continue to be there for me until He comes for my spirit [12]. He died for me [13] and here I was bawling like a little baby and focusing on my hurt, instead of focusing on Christ.

My sin was a lack of focus and a momentary lack of faith. It is impossible to please God without faith [14]. I wasn’t diligent or sober [15]. His Word tells me to be still, and know that I am God [16]. I committed five sins and failures, and not going to Him first, was a sixth [17]. I had to snap out of it, because I want to please the Lord. I have got to start acquiring and maintaining the first line of defense of going to the Lord when I sin, am hurt, when someone wrongs me, or in any other bondage situation. God loves it when I (we) go to Him [18]. Responding instead of reacting is the proper course of action. It is all about Christ and focusing on Him. The simple fact is, our focus follows our heart. The Bible says that where our heart is, there is our treasure also [19]. My hurt momentarily overpowered my heart and I aligned my soul with the flesh.

God desires to do things for His children [20]. The time I spent with the Lord after my cry, brought me to tears, not hurtful tears but joyful tears [21] of God’s love. My confession to you is that I momentarily walked in the flesh, but the lord grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the pit. It humbled me greatly and put me on my knees in praise, worship, and adoration.

Please forgive me Lord for not going to you first, for not focusing on you, and for allowing the enemy a foothold into my life. Lord, please forgive me for not being watchful or rational and for focusing on the wrong thing. I am so sorry Lord for my lapse in faith; for I know that it is impossible to please you without it. I thank you Lord for loving me unconditionally, and for always being there for me. I am nothing without you Lord. I love you Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength [22]. In your precious name, Amen.

This concludes this series. I pray that it blessed and helped you. I’ll see you next Monday when we’ll look at repentance and the proper response to same. A two part series on 2 Corinthians 7:10

[1] Genesis 3:1
[2] Galatians 5:17; Romans 6:19; James 4:11; 1 Peter 2:11
[3] Romans 2:11, Acts10:34
[4] John 15:5; Ephesians 2:12
[5] Romans 8:37
[6] Romans 5:17 The Apostle Paul implores us to live “In Christ.” In his epistles Paul encourages us to be “in Christ,” “in Him,” or “in the Lord” 160 times.
[7] John 16:33
[8] The bible says diligent and sober
[9] Ephesian 4:27
[10] Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, John 14:6. It’s why Christ said that He is the door in John 10:9 because these are the three doors, or entrances in the Tabernacle. They called the entrance to the Tabernacle and into the outer courts the Way (Gate); they called the entrance to the Holy Place the Truth (Door), and they called the entrance to the Holy of Holies the Life (veil).
[11]Hebrews 13:5; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5; John 3:16
[12] Ecclesiastes 12:7
[13] John 3:16
[14] Hebrews 11:6
[15] 1 Peter 5:8
[16] Psalms 46:10
[17] Proverbs 3:5, 6; Matthew 6:33
[18] Matthew 6:21
[19] Romans 8:28; John 3:16; John 4:16; John14:28
[20] Psalms 37:4
[21] Roman 8:1
[22] Mark 12:30

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