Johnny and Sarah love each other very much and have committed to be together for the rest of their lives. After cohabitation for a few months, family and friends began to ask them, “When are you going to put a ring on her finger and make an honest woman out of her?” To which they replied, “We don’t need to get married by a minister with legal documents do we? All we need to do is commit privately to one another in the presence of God.”

“What?” Or as my four year old great granddaughter stated a couple days ago to a comment I made, “Oh, c’mon!” 🙂

There are several reasons why this is simply just not true according to God’s Word and is therefore, unbiblical. As our answers come from the Word of God, it should only take one answer. However, the Bible says that if you break one law, you’ve broken them all [1], so let’s look at a few of many biblical answers to Johnny’s question.

Therefore, in terms of the will of God, do we need to get married in God’s eyes, or can we just commit to one another in His presence? God’s Word tells us to obey the laws of the land. Roman’s 13:1-7 and 1 Peter 2:13 give us one answer. As with most of God’s Word, they are pretty straight forward and have no room for misunderstanding. Below, find verses one and two of the seven in Romans.

v1 Let every soul be in subjection to the higher powers: for there is no power but of God; and the powers that be are ordained of God.
v2 Therefore he that resisteth the power, withstandeth the ordinance of God: and they that withstand shall receive to themselves judgment [Romans 13:1-2 ASV].

God is the ultimate power for He IS the Creator of it all. All those who are in power over us are ordained of God. Therefore, we are to be subject to those powers unless they want us to do evil that is against the law(s) of God. Then and only then are we to resist. Verses 3-7 explain this. If having found the law to be just in God’s eyes and then, we resist, we bring judgment upon ourselves.

One way we bring judgment upon ourselves is to cohabitate before marriage. People cohabitate all the time, but when they cohabitate as husband and wife without being married, and have sexual relations, they do so out of the will of God [2]. This is premarital sex and sexual immorality. It is not only a sin against God [3] but it is a sin against our bodies [4].

We cannot talk about relationships let alone about marriage without stating that both partners should be believers or there will be trouble. The Bible says not to yoke yourself with an unbeliever, for what fellowship does light have with darkness [5]. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit [6] and if they share the same desires toward Christ likeness [7]. If the other is not a believer and does not share your values and beliefs, where will be the commonality? Where is the threefold cord [8]?

How can a couple work toward a common goal if their world view, values, and beliefs are diametrically opposed to each other? This relationship is doomed before it starts, and according to the Bible, they should not be together. Friends? Sure, why not. Relationship/marriage? No. Being married to an unbeliever will hinder the believer’s walk with God. It has to. The ultimate goal in dating is to find a life partner, a legal life partner.

The wedding ceremony serves many purposes that include letting people know who is married to who thereby avoiding sexual immorality. Furthermore, Christians are to do what is right in the eyes of everybody [9] and in the eyes of God [10]. Sexual intercourse before marriage is fornication. The world thinks that Christians are hypocrites. The marriage ceremony lets everyone know of the couple’s intent to live as husband and wife thereby doing right in front of man and of God. You greatly increase the temptation to sleep around on your partner without the marriage and contract.

Generally, it is the noncommittal man that does not want to marry, and when he declares this to be so, he dishonors the woman and disrespects their relationship by not considering marriage. Let’s face it, most all woman want to be married. There is some common sense involved here as well. What man in his right mind when he finds a woman that he truly loves wouldn’t want to marry the woman and have her for his own and protect her from the image of sexual promiscuity and immorality?

Some would call marriage ownership and use it for an excuse to cover their noncommittal mentality. I would prefer to call it committed, spoken for, unavailable, taken, or any number of verbs instead of ownership.

Finally, marriage is a “creation ordinance,” which means it is a rule for every living person. This is in contrast to a “Christian ordinance,” which is a rule that only applies to Christians. In the Garden of Eden, God created the first marriage with Adam and Eve [11]. God took Eve out of Adam [12] and brought her to him [13], a custom that thrives today as the father gives away his daughter. They then became one flesh and consummated the marriage [14].

So, if you’re out there and you have the same question as Johnny, “Why should we get formally married?” Break out the Bible because it has answers all questions for us. It is the law of the land, it is a creation ordinance started by God, and marriage makes the bed undefiled.

v4 Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge [Hebrews 13:4 ASV].

NOTE: Do you know whether you’re going to heaven of not? Have you ever wondered where you’ll spend eternity? If you are not a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and have questions about Christianity, please feel free to PM me and I can help you with your questions and salvation if you desire. God bless you all.
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[1] James 2:10
[2] 1 Thessalonians 4:3
[3] Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:9, 13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 2 Timothy 2:22; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7
[4] 1 Corinthians 6:18
[5] 2 Corinthians 6:14
[6] John 3:3-8
[7] 2 Corinthians 3:18
[8] Ecclesiastes 4:12
[9] Romans 12:17b
[10] Deuteronomy 6:18; 2 Corinthians 8:21; 1 Peter 3:12
[11] Genesis 2:21-25
[12] Genesis 2:22, 23
[13] Genesis 2:22
[14] Genesis 2:24